Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs.

An interesting episode/movie from the cartoon series Futurama.
Kind of like a depiction of god showing himself up to the humans, but in a satirical genre.
Who knows that god actually wanted human’s love just because he was lonely.
And beware if “god” reaches you with one of his appendages, it could be one of his genitalias.

http://www.favupload.com/video/2171/

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Did God give us the power to perform telekinesis or is it sinful and unholy?

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Did_God_give_us_the_power_to_perform_telekinesis_or_is_it_sinful_and_unholy

An interesting question posed by Christians who are puzzled by nature’s way of operating, and yet to know what is quantum mechanics other than complicated mathematical equations.

Here’s what the answer from a supposed Christian who studied his bible well (I’m not anti-Christian, and I love Jesus the same way any Christian would but I think the bible needs major reforms):

“Powers” that are said to come from the mind are actually spiritual powers, and their source is demons. The Bible tells us to avoid anything that is of the occult. Here is an example of what the Bible says about the occult:

There shall not be found among you anyone who burns his son or his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord. And because of these abominations the Lord your God is driving them out before you. You shall be blameless before the Lord your God.

– Deuteronomy 18: 10-13

ANSWER 

Power has never been given to man to be able to move objects with his mind alone. There are biblical accounts where mountains have been moved out of their place, where seas have been parted but the authority to do this is God given. 
As all matter has intelligence, otherwise it would not be able to obey a command. And only one who holds a higher authority can give the power to man to move something, it is not the man, but by the priesthood which he holds. Then the reason to move anything has to be that higher powers reason, and not mans. 
When anything is done it is to the glory of God and not for the glorification of man.

First of all, if the person who answered using a verse from The Book of Deuteronomy 18: 10-13 would have researched articles on quantum mechanics and watch lectures from renowned physicists, they would know the basic theory of a subatomic particle, particularly the electrons. Electrons are known to be a very low-mass subatomic particle which is represented by a point-size, are negative-charged, and is a wavicle; it could behave either as a wave or a particle.

Electrons exists in almost every matter that existed in this world. These subatomic particles are also known as a string of energy. Our minds are also known to be formed by the same energies. Telekinesis is the action of manipulating an object’s matter either by changing it’s shape (i.e. Uri Geller’s spoon bending) or by moving the object to a different location without using our physical force, instead we’ll be using our minds, which means that we’re accomplishing these manipulations from a remote distance.

How telekinesis works is actually explainable using quantum mechanics, but first I’ll tell you how to achieve the state of mind that enables telekinesis and other psychic stuffs. Our mind has since a long time ago been separated into two: conscious and sub-conscious. Researchers believed that our two separate minds had been working as one until ego caused these two to separate, thus creating the illusion that our present world existed, our visions limited to three dimensions, and the existence of the self. However, in present time we are still able to combine both minds, with the limitations of maintaining it to a matter of a few seconds. It is believed that by using combined-consciousness together with the embodiment of compassion that the Buddha attained enlightenment. Some people might call this combined-consciousness as the “third-eye”.

The resulting combined-consciousness allows us to manipulate the energies around us, or rather specifically the energies that comprises the subatomic particles around us. We are able to use these energy-manipulations to move small-to-large objects either in mid-air or by a stride-motion, bend hard-irons such as thick stainless-steel utensils or send pulse of messages to another person – which would usually scare the shit out of people thinking there are poltergeists nearby!

It might sound like I’m actually telling a lie, a fabled story or science fiction but like it or not, it’s actually true. Lots of people around the world are making accidental discoveries of their psychic abilities.

Now, back to the question. Did God give us the power to perform telekinesis or is it sinful and unholy?

Would you think that telekinesis would be sinful and unholy if it was actually a gift from God? The same way God gave you arms and legs to commute and do your jobs, gave you a tongue with thousands of taste-buds so that you could enjoy the sweetness of sugar? Although with the invention of the tastebuds that God not only gave you a gift to enjoy sugar but also he gave you an insufficient amount of inulin in your bloodstream to counter the level of sugar you’re feeding yourself to, which in turn would make the tastebuds on our tongues as a curse, a punishment from God just for his enjoyment when he could’ve made sugar taste the same as normal water where we would consume the amount needed instead. Also, God’s extra gift of the ego and “free-will” made our arms and legs the most lethal weapon since Abel and Cain.

OK, let’s say that according to the chap who answered the question by quoting Deuteronomy that telekinesis was actually powers coming from an external source, namely demons, and that no human being possesses any psychic abilities by default. By that he actually means that electrons are actually manifestations or essences of demons, in which he would have to explain how almost 90% of our bodies are composed of these “demon” subatomic particles, and how to cleanse our bodies from these demonic essences. From my point of view, the only way for us to cleanse ourselves from these “demonic possessions” from birth is to kill ourselves, or the most effective way to quickly cleanse ourselves is to incinerate ourselves with fire until we turn into ashes.

Well done, dead dogmas of religions. You have given to us an insight of how evil we are by having every single molecules of our bodies comprised of naturally occurring electrons.

“When anything is done it is to the glory of God and not for the glorification of man.”

I would say, God is glory for creating man not from dust, but rather from accidents and illusions. Hallelujah.

Note: I believe the only practice Christianity had for its followers is to embody the love of Jesus. Loving your parents, loving your spouses, loving your neighbors and loving your enemies. Christianity is a religion of love, the only monotheistic religion I have respect for (Islam’s Muhammad rapes slave women and pre-pubescent girls, Judaism’s Moses murdered an Egyptian guard), however I believe if Christians were to disregard the dogmas created by illusions of the ego then Christianity can be easily followed as a faith. Lastly, I wish for any Christians reading this post not to be offended of this article.

A letter from God.

To those who had fought in my name, and the names of my fellow heavenly beings.

Once upon a lifetime, I was a human being like yourself. I was conceived by my parents, given birth by my mother, washed, dressed, fed and taught the necessary things needed to know. Then came a day when my parents took me to a place where people gather. They would silently chant a phrase of words together at the same time. I asked my father:

“Dad, what is it that you, Mum, grandpa and all the others were saying in whispers?”

“It’s called a prayer.” says my father.

“Come, I will teach you the words to say so that we could pray together.”

And so the time comes when I am a fully-grown adult, both my parents and grandparents had died. I was yet to be married to anyone, although there was this girl at our place of worship whom I had feelings for. I was an active member of our religious group, and my devotion to the teachings, and the God of our religion had made my beliefs totally unshaken. Sometimes there were people who would utter words, saying that our ways has corrupted, and most of the time this angers me. One day, our religious group leader made a sermon, saying that we should slay those who slander our religion and ways, for our God has been angered by the very existence of these heretics.

One day, we gathered those who were pious believers of our religion, all of us were armed with swords and fire torches – ready to scour the village for these “so called” heretics. We slay the mens who were marked as heretics by the people of the village, put their houses on fire and took their women and children away.

At first I thought that my actions were true and justified, that I was pleasing the Gods that I prayed to every day. It was then I found out the girl I’ve had feelings for had fled the village together with her family to another country. That night a few armed men of our religious group had gathered a search party to hunt her and her family down, and I was part of the search party. After hours of travelling on steeds we’ve had stumbled upon them, and it is in the middle of a forest that we’ve subdued them. I took that girl by the hands and told my men that I wanted to have a word with her behind this big tree, just a few walks from where her family was subdued.

I begged of her, please come back safely to our village, and since I am a man of high influence in our religious court, I asked her to marry me so that her family could be spared of the judgement which would be applied to them after being captured; death. But she kept refusing my offer, she was telling me that she didn’t love me at all, and all these while she had thought at first that I was impressive due to my devotion towards my religion but it turned out that I was actually barbaric; slaying heretics without giving them a chance to explain, and that she realized that our religion was wrong, our God was wrong, and that she’s fleeing our village so that she could marry another person whom she previously have met and had engaged to in another country.

Controlled by my anger and disappointment, I hit her head with the hilt of my sword till she fell to the ground, tore her clothing away, tied her mouth and hands, and brutally raped her many times. As she went weak, my anger was still in control of all my senses, and no feelings of remorse could overcome me as I draw my sword and murdered her. As she draws her last breath, all of a sudden consciousness took over my mind and I felt the utmost guilt. I went back to my men and her subdued family, and ordered all of her family members to be killed as well, and told my men to report to the religious court of our village that we found them dead instead, for I fear action being taken onto me for committing such heinous crimes.

The next day, our village was attacked by the armies of the country the girl I’ve had feelings for wanted to fled to. I was instead taken alive back into their country, awaiting judgement from their courts. It seems that the day I had defiled that girl and slain her whole family, a small child had witnessed all of my actions, and that child was her youngest brother who had escaped our capture. And it seems that the person she was engaged to and promised to marry was the prince regent of that country. I was sentenced to death, a brutal death of being tortured stabbed numerously with a pike before I draw my last breath.

After a few rebirths in several lower realms, at last I’ve had accumulated enough good karma to be born in heaven. It is there that I met the being who was supposed to be the God of my religion during my human rebirth. It seems that at the time I’ve had arrive in heaven he was near the brink of death. Before he passes away he whispered to me:

“You have been my utmost loyal devotee during your human birth. I am sorry that I have made you and your men suffer such fate, and for you to endure such heartbreaking moments which lead to your own demise, and caused you to suffer much more before you reach this realm. Now my time has come, I will be birthed into the human realm once again, and follow a teaching that has just recently emerged; a Buddha has emerged in the human realm and is teaching us for once how to end our suffering.”

But due to my ignorance, I didn’t even care if I could escape suffering. All I want to do now is to pleasure my senses, become a God and have thousands to millions of beings as my devotees. I made up a story to my first follower that I have created the realms in seven days, made all kinds of law for my devotees to follow while my “prophet” makes up his own laws too in addition to mine, just as long as it doesn’t supersede my set of laws.

After a very long time I started sensing a being in the human realms who had some sort of similarity to me, except that he has became fully pure-hearted – his good karma even supersedes the ones I have accumulated. I grew fond of her, although I kept on playing with the newly made religion I have introduced to humankind. My religion by now has at least made half of the total humans in their realms quarrel, fight and slaughter each other in my name, but one day I realized that the female human who had my growing fondness is actually another reincarnation of myself; the pure-hearted side of me during my human rebirth, and she had just bear a child – and that child was the girl whom I’ve wronged during my human rebirth. Seeing how throughout their lives they love and care for each other, made me shed my first tear in my whole live as a heavenly being.

Now as I am approaching the end of my life as a heavenly being, I remembered what the person who had passed away during my rebirth had said. I will be birthed in the human realm, and I will follow the teachings of the Buddha who had taught the end of our sufferings, and put an end to the religion which I have created to cause demise in the human realm.